but I've begun to doubt myself.
Maybe I do enjoy pain.
Why else would I sit through Ra.One (2011)?
This is sort of what happened.
Shahana Goswami opens the film with a terrible speech about gaming and giving us a holographic image of...not princess Leia, but Dileep Tahil, owner of the game developing company she works at. She is a game developer too. I requested a barf bag.
And her colleague is Shahrukh, who is Southern Indian, but with the worst accent ever- maybe some of the $ should have gone to a language coach? I again requested a barf bag.
Shashrukh's wife Kareena and son Prateik live in a mansion with him near London- though how they can afford it I'm not really sure. Lots of lame and risque jokes help the scenes hobble along.
Anyhow- under orders to build a game, he designs Ra.One vs G.One- with a lot of Bollywood fanfare which is impossible to believe. And did I say the "game" robot/tabgible holographic images have a heart- that is a facsimile of Iron Man's chest plate. So much for creativity.
Anyhow- Ra.One is evil and goes rogue. A live computer game if you will. Or a robot. Remember Tron I & II? I did.
And now that he is rogue, Ra.One's aim is to kill Prateik, who had started playing the game and left in between. Memories of Terminator II, with the evil robot going after the little kid.
In a nice twist, Ra.One kills Shahrukh- and we have a montage of a burial that's very Spiderman I - ish.
Ra.One goes to town, walking around in Schwarzenegger's trench and glasses from the Terminator films. Sigh. See the pattern?
So to save himself, Prateik brings back Shahrukh in the form of G.One, who fights Ra.One.
And Ra.One reassembles/regenerates after being smashed, Terminator style.
And you know how this wraps up. But a lot must happen before that:
1- Sad gay TSA jokes (really!)
2- Matrix bullet-dodging
3- Utterly delightful songs- wanna be my chammakchallo anyone?
4- Arjun being what he was meant to be- robotic, and delightfully so.
5- G.One stopping a train, superman style.
6- Burning crotches.
1- Any film that requires constant narration of what's going on by its characters has a basic issue of cohesiveness.
2- If you have a character who is Southern Indian with an accent, then let him have a proper accent, but not one that comes and goes and is lame at best.
3- It isn't 1980. Please do not show us a mishmash of copies of montages from successful films- we have already seen them, and it doesn't work- remember Jaani Dushman (2002).
4- Instead of taking years, games, animes and robotics apparently just take days or weeks (at best). And 12 year olds do this naturally. Ask anyone.
Of course I'm being harsh- the effects are great and this is a definite step in the right direction for Indian superheroes and scifi.
And in conclusion: Of course you will watch this eventually if you haven't already. Its a Shahrukh film after so long that isn't steeped in hammy romance. And while you are watching and after, you will criticise it for its fallacies, but that's a necessary side effect. Then maybe you can answer the question I cannot solve: Why does Shahrukh pose like Michael Jackson in the poster (and other places in the film)?