Year: 1978
Cast: Dharmendra, Zeenat Aman, Rex Harrison, Sylvia Miles, Shammi Kapoor, OP Ralhan, John Saxon.
The movie starts at a “Dance Studio” where Aruna Irani is teaching some unheard-of version of the Cha Cha Cha, with Kumar (Dharmendra) lounging at the receptionist desk in a newsboy cap. This Studio is more than what it seems, because apparently there is a gambling den in the back with Raja Bahadur Singh (Prem Nath) rapidly losing at cards, and a shooter keeping a watch on the whole operation with binoculars across the bridge.
While Aruna swings to “1 2 Cha Cha Cha,” Raja Bahadur has a heart attack and is helped out by Kumar to a taxi, to bring him to a hospital.
The conversation with Tolaram leaves Kumar very clear on the fact that he needs money asap- the Dance Studio/Gaming den isn’t paying well, and the owner (who we never see on screen) is experiencing losses that Kumar must make up one way or another. He is reminded of the invite he stole off Raja Bahadur. He shows up at the appointed day and time dresses as a Sikh (Raja Bahadur is one), pretending to be Raja’s Son: Raja Bahadur, Jr. He meets KPW Iyengar (OP Ralhan, an actor who was also a fairly famous director, and gave Dharmendra one of his biggest 1st hits in Phool Aur Patthar (1966), which Ralhan wrote, directed, produced and acted in (!!!). Iyengar is also an invitee to the same shindig as Raja Bahadur, and they are picked up by a boat of uniformed tribals on behalf of Sir John.
They get to Sir John's castle/mansion- which I am in love with ever since ever. (It is actually Tipu Sultan's palace in Bangalore, India.....mmmm).
In his guise as Raja Bahadur Jr., Kumar meets up with fellow invitees: Countess Rasmussen(a very old and decrepit looking Sylvia Miles), Dr. Bukhari (a very very fat Shammi Kapoor) and Coloner Columbus (John Saxon- remember "Enter the Dragon" (1973) ?)- supposedly Iyengar has always had a thing for the Countess- and it is established that all 5 individuals are expert thieves.
They are joined at dinner by Sheila Enders (a very hot looking Zeenat), who is their hostess and Sir John's nurse.
Midway through dinner, Kumar figures out that they are being watched by cameras, and traces his way to Sir John's who has been observing the party via this camera network. He finds Sir John (A rather tired looking Rex Harrison) in bed in a gold sherwani (a knee-length men's jacket worn in South Asia only at very formal occasions , if ever). Kader Khan provides the voice-over for Harrison, who appears very very weird mouthing Hindi :D
Kumar soon rejoins the party for a bit of after dinner coffee and Carnatic music (a form of Indian music that is almost ancient in its history). At this point, Sheila has recognised Kumar through his guise, turns out he is an ex-boyfriend who had cheated on her and she had therefore walked out on.....
Next morning, Sir John meets his guests, and takes them on a walking tour of his estate,, which is apparently very well guarded. So well guarded that when Columbus touches that plant in the picture, there is a blast about 1/2 a mile away- which is really dumb- how the heck does a bomb a half-mile away really help???? and aren't there any cats/birds/dogs in the estate? who would hit plants and cause blasts, like every 5 minutes????oh well...
And finally we meet the reason why Sir John has called them to the island. He is dying of cancer, and he wants them all to take turns in trying to steal his prized possession: a ruby known as the Shalimar, that's as big as a rock.
Iyengar loses it at first sight of the ruby, and whips out a knife, ready to grab the jewel and run...
They are immediately surrounded by guards, and so of course Iyenger cannot pre-empt the theft of the ruby. They draw straws and thus decide the order in which they would make attempts to steal Shalimar.
They gather later that evening, and watch the CC TVs for the 1st theft to begin.....
Columbus, who is mute, slithers down the mansion/castle wall (he has been faking a disabled leg), and gets very close to the Shalimar....
1 down, 4 to go. The guards cart away Columbus, and everyone retires to their rooms. Kumar makes a half-hearted attempt to get into Sheila's good book,s but that fails miserably.
What appears to work better is Iyenger and the Countesses' romance. We see a very wrinkled Countess undressing to a palpably excited Iyenger. Supposedly, this is her ploy to deter him from making a bid for Shalimar that same night.
Once Iyenger has slept off, she decides to walk on a straight rope to the room where Shalimar is housed (what the heck??). Very ungraceful, ungainly and definitely past her prime, Sylvia Miles is horrible in a pink ballerina's outfit (wonderful camoflauge- yes indeedy).
That is very clearly a man.......
She makes it successfully to about 2 feet away from the Ruby's case when she is blasted off by a security bomb in the room. 2 down, 3 to go. Everyone again retires for the night (Sir John, Shela, Dr. Bukhari and Kumar have been watching), and we next find Kumar being treated to a massage by Sheila (????????????!!!!!- this is totally strange- she is supposed to be really angry with him. My hubby figured they wanted to give the movie international appeal, and to that end, they couldnt insert a love scene in at the time, they did a massage scene- I agree, but it is totally surreal...).
That night, the tribals who have disposed off the Countess' and Columbus' bodies are found embalming Columbus- turns out the mute man's burst into speech in his dying moments gives him God status.....
So we get a whole dance sequence with a lot of mini-skirted "tribal"dancing in honor of the new God....
Soon enough, Dr. Bukhari tries and fails, and demotivated with the 3 deaths, when Iyengar tries to walk out, he is killed by Sir John. 
Now that the 4 major thieves are dead, Sir John reveals that he was never dying of cancer- it was just pretense to ensure some modicum of safety for Shalimar (what rubbish- there are tons more thieves in the world my friend…) Mad with rage, Kumar attacks Sir John, but is captured by and then escapes the guards. They search high and low, but are unable to find him….
Until Sir john finally spots him in one of his CCTV viewers…
Kumar has dressed in a v cool outfit camouflaging him as a chessboard to match the room where the Shalimar is housed (where the heck did he get the outfit on an island where there are no shops- let alone seamstresses?)…
Kumar successfully grabs Shalimar, and escapes the guards with Sheila’s help, who it seems has forgiven him after all….
Kumar successfully grabs Shalimar, and escapes the guards with Sheila’s help, who it seems has forgiven him after all. Meanwhile, Dr. Bukhari is actually alive- he has been faking his death in order to live… He incites the tribals against Sir John and leads their revolt against him, where eventually, he is shot dead by his own guards…
Meanwhile (again), Kumar and Sheila escape after some scuffles with the guards on a small ship (which emerges tethered to the bay, fully gassed and ready to go)…
They hide in a hotel, but their happiness is short-lived, since guess who is still after them...
Yup, that’s the tribals/guards from the island, now dressed in hippie outfits on the mainland, out to get back the Shalimar which they believes rightly belongs to them. So Sheila forsakes her greed for Shalimar and begs Kumar to give up the ruby to the police, so that they can be safe…..That’s when Kumar accepts that he is in fact a part of the Indian Secret Police, and was after the 4 thieves and Sir John for a long time…
This is utter rot, since there are many loopholes here:
1- After getting out of the island, why did Kumar wait so long? Why risk carrying the Shalimar around in a hotel room when he could just hand it over to the police asap???
2- What was all that crap with Tolaram in the beginning of the movie about? Establishment of criminal history to gain street cred? Ughhh….
Whatever- they get married in a Christian ceremony by exchanging flower garlands, a Hindu custom (huh??!!)….
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